Ask me no questions...I'll tell you no lies

I hate how much I fear living in the country I was born in, the one where I was raised, the one with all my family members and friends dear to me. I hate how unsafe and crude and primal we have to be, just to walk the streets in broad daylight.

I hate how the entire system in the Malaysian ecosphere is screwed up.

A second cousin of mine, aged 19 passed away last week from a MVA. Apparently, he lost control of his vehicle and grazed a car in front of him, landing in an oxidation pond. COD: drowning. He was extricated 2 hours later.

Joshua, I know we aren't the fondest of relatives, but I am so sorry this has had to happen to you.

His death made me think of a zillion questions. (if you know me well, you know my fav Q is why. I even blurted out WHY???? in front of a consultant rheumatologist one day on ward rounds in relation to a pateint's massive leg ulcer, which made me an instant Z list celebrity, and painted me as the doe eyed fresh out of mama's embrace med student who has seen no pain)

Anyway, that piece of news really bothered me. It made the difference between a planned township and a messed up excuse of a city even starker. What is an oxidation pond doing in the middle of the neighbourhood, anyway? Why is it next to a highway? Why isn't it fenced? Why are police not enforcing the speed limit? Why are the roads so poorly engineered?

I am so, so thankful to be living where I am now. Really wish people back home could tidy up their act before it's too late.

On a brighter note, really enjoying learning in hospital! These days of learning are the best :) Sat in with a wonderful endocrinologist and it really made a difference :)

Today, I Miss Home

I miss you, mommy, daddy!!!!!!!!!!!

Went for Body Attack this morning. Has been my routine for the past month, so yay to fitter and leaner me!

Stayed at home, made a mean Salmon Linguine with Leek, my hubby wouldn't eat anything else for the rest of the day because he wanted to 'preserve' the taste in his mouth!!! How sweet :)

Bought a pair of sunshine mustard shorts from I.d.s..It is beautiful :)

Thank you dearie.

OD-ed on free macarons at Thomas Dux. HAHA

xoxo

Gwen

Booyah!

Ola! This is me from the year before. Say Hi to your 22 year old self!

Top: Armani Exchange

Jacket: Dotti

Never Again, My Friend

Woo hooooo! I am so pissed at a certain person right now, but no way am I letting myself wallow in that dark cave that I once resided. Shivers. You are chipping away at me slowly. Don't say the things you say, it only makes me confused, and hurt. You never gave me a chance.

Now, you'll just have to deal with me, mister. If you're not happy, you know where the door is!! Teehee. Why bother, when they don't?

............................................................

Reading your posts made me happy. Today, you made me happy. Thinking of you made me happy. And I miss that feeling. The world needs more of you. I wish I could be like you, so infectious with your personality. How do you do it? I feel so different, like I'm made to be happy because you made me feel that my existence could count for something.

I wish you knew what I feel about you :)

Perhaps it would change matters.

Perhaps not.

...

Be gone, emo self!!!

toodles

xoxo

Away With The Fairies

That's me, when I am stuck with 57 pages of hardcore notes that I have to get through by today. FRICK.

Went for an interview today for Melb Uni's host orientation program. Sat around in a circle and answered little questions on a sheet of paper. Mine said: Tell me about a time when you had to deal with a difficult person. SORRY ****, I had to use you as my example.

Sheesh I thought I had it down pat. And my nerves got in the way and it pretty much ended like the time when I had to present my findings from a respiratory exam, 3 days IN hospital, after a 1 year hiatus from cough, medicine. FRICK again! But the hubby said I went well, in fact he said I went really well, but he lies to me all the time anyway cause he finds me amazing, tis' said in a non-bitchy way, of course.

PFFFT. I HAVE TO WIN!!!!

Heehee, who ever said it was a competition, right? But my life is about setting goals!! Goals aren't malignant, right? Especially when I'm planking next to yellow-shirt girl in combat class and right at the point when I feel like giving up I get a stare that said, I triumph! OOOH not so fast you little twerp, I was born to fight!

TOTALLY DEVIATING.

4.12pm and the day is balmy. Oh, HAPPY BEEDAY JP! :) I bought a dress for your wedding, and can't wait to wear it!

YAY tis the season for weddings! Don't ask about mine yet, peeps. You'll know when I know.

Gotta head back to the notes!

ADIOS!

xoxo

Mad (Med) Adventures

Diary of a 23 year old medical student, sister, daughter, and wife to a v. loving family and bimbo friend to one a many girlies.

It's the start of a new rotation. This time, it's Renal, Endo, Thyroid and Vascular. All in 6 weeks. Yes, I haven't even mastered the knowledge from last block and here we go again! Whoosh!!! Everyday we are exposed to such a steep learning curve. This morning, I learnt the difference between Type 1 and 2 Diabetes, and in 2 hours, I was standing in a room with 2 other meddies, interviewing a 68 year old man who just had his 38th surgery and his toes amputated from complications of Diabetes. Isn't is amazing how this art is applied?

...

Half an hour later, I meet a man with an extremely rare condition, and with it came an hour's worth of being someone's confidante. In this field, we see into our patient's world, we get to experience their anguish, their desperation, and live through so much raw emotions. When I see tears welling out from a grown man's eyes, I am lost. Do I prod more, or do I gracefully divert his anxieties? Each time I speak to a patient with fears and concerns, I feel this exasperating need to reach out, to take a little bit of pain so it becomes bearable, but at the same time so blessed to be able to learn so much about life, from my little daily experiences.

We, with able bodies and sound mind, we are lucky.

This world bears infinite boundaries, and part of life's adventures, especially mine, is to explore it's cavities and hopefully one day make little sense out of it.

So looking forward to tomorrow.

To Let in Sale

Hello!

This past week has been glorious. We never had a break since clinical school commenced, and it has been months of learning and discovering and long hours in hospital...So we decided that enough is enough...........and took a Friday off. (HA.)

7 am Friday morning, the alarm bell goes and off the hubby goes to send the car for its service

9am I wake up to the sun-rays creeping through the sides of the blinds, and feel a surge of joy, that I am able to enjoy this wonderous moment in MY own house ;D

10am We catch the bus to the city!

11am Breakfast at my favourite coffee place, they ran out of almond croissants so a pistachio torsade it is.

12pm Bought a dress at Gasp for the bro's wedding

1pm Lunch at this Taiwanese joint in the city. XXL crispy chicken for me, yummm

2pm I quick rest to freshen at the Westin. Heehee

4pm We bus back to Doncaster, made a few customized Coke cans!

6pm Drive to Sale!

10pm Movies and catching up with Liz and her amazing housemates! Horror movie was a let down.

What a beautiful day it was!!!!

:) If only every day was like this.

I heart good conversations with good people. Such a rarity from where I come from, sadly.

Red Velvet!

What's baking?

Chocolately Lurvee

Hoola hoop

Ola!

Currently doing my block in Orthopaedics, Rheumatology and Dermatology, and with each passing day I grow increasingly grateful that I so blessed to be doing what I do ♥

One day, I will grow up to be a doctor.

THANK YOU LIFE.

Gwen's recent splurges include a beautiful camel coloured Tilkah Ditzy Sling Bag..for my stethhoscope and long case paraphernalia to be carried around the wards!

Pretty, No??

xoxo

Welcome to what seems like eternity

I'm sitting here in my new house.

It's so perfect, I'm cherishing every moment. THANK YOU, LIFE.

Preparing for PBL tomorrow, and there will be more days like this, learning and cramming, feeling mighty one day and rotten the next, crashing and burning, whoever said Medicine is glamorous?

But I am ready for it :)

We are give one short life. If you imagine yourself as an astronomical creature looking down on earth, and you see buildings and bridges, mountains and men, millions of them, where do you stand?

Would you be so afraid, like me, of how significantly small my presence is?

Would it matter if my nail polish isn't chipped, that my wardrobe is bursting with designer clothes and I have at least 10 pairs of shoes that are brand spanking new, yet to be worn?

I feel so damn guilty sometimes.

But I have Medicine, my purpose, to be able to reach within my very own limitless scope, to help whoever I can, the best I can. I have my family, this precious, wonderful mist of pure love, and within the parameters of bountiless love and purpose, this little bumblebee shall work her wonders.

Watch. This. Space. I will not let anyone down.

Second Holiday with Jon- Bangkok

We were deciding between Bintan in Indonesia or Dreamworld, but I was more keen on a more vibrant destination, plus I dislike water sports so Bangkok it was! I drew inspirations from a few random blogs I read and was instantly attracted to the shopping in Platinum Mall.

Platinum Mall is a mega huge mall with 2000 stalls focusing on wholesale shopping and it blew me away. Although the sizes in Thailand are pretty small, I managed to find a ton of pretty clothes that were decently priced and pretty!! Poor baby had to tag along for 3 days while I shopped like a woman possessed. 10,000 Thai bahts was not enough, so we experienced a mild dilemma and were scavenging for hidden Aussie notes to exchange for more Thai bahts!!

We stayed at Baiyoke Suite hotel which was strategically located in the heart of Pratunam, with the hustle and bustle of Pratunam Market right in front of our doorstep. The density of Pratunam Market felt like 5 people per square metre, in other words it was really, really crowded. But I loved it!!! My five senses were so turned on.

We ate at Platinum's food court a few times, food was pretty decent. My husband came with a mission to eat kilos and kilos of Pad Thai and by the time we went back he was green from it.

JY inside Platinum. He is the sweetest baby in the world and I am not saying it just because he is mine. He really tops the whole universe of guys because when it comes to shopping, he waits patiently for me, offers fashion advice, seeks out pretty clothes for me, carries my heavy bags, and pays for everything. Seriously the best baby in the world!!

And he booked us the best hotel in Thailand for our last night. I was grumbling ( ok, i was fuming) when we had to switch hotels because it was so troublesome and we got ripped off by a bad cabbie but when I stepped foot in Ariyasomvilla, I died and went to villa heaven.

Yep.. That was our two room suite for the night. Best room in the house!! I wished the night would never end but I was so knackered from the shopping that we fell asleep pretty early ( 1 am.)

The living area.

JY loved the sinks- The products smelled so good!! This is me washing my bathing suit with the amazing pandan scented soap.

The Pool. I managed to drag him up at 6.15 am and we took a dip and it was gooooood. He didn't feel too good but who would after a pint of Asoka at 6.15am??

One of the many highlights was the Ladyboy Calypso show at Asia hotel, as recommended by Bangkok.com. Most of the tours and shows were booked through this website and I give a double thumbs up because the tours are cheap and good.

My fav Kahtoey. Seriously fab body and face. SOO pretty.

Our dinner the last night at the Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit.

Love Bangkok!! Will so return!!

Up Up and Away

If I ever did you wrong, I am sorry.

Today I realized that I have everything- I am the luckiest person in the world.

And my fate is in my own hands. Not even his.

:)

xoxo

This Train Don't Stop Here Anymore

Isn't life full of surprises, just when you feel like nothing's ever going to go wrong, something creeps up from around the corner to give you just the right amount of jazz. I was so down for the past week, and through faith in my good will I lived through to see another day, and now, I couldn't be more proud of myself.


It's important to forgive yourself when you make mistakes.


I learnt that no-one can make you feel gulity and no amount of paise or blame should sway you. When you feel less attached to your emotions, you will naturally feel at ease with everything that comes your way, and also more able to live in equilibrium and happiness.




Equilibrium- How essential its role in our soul.


When the world turns a blind eye on you, find your space and stay there until they are ready for you. You are as beautiful and strong as you perceive yourself to be, so have confidence and smile :) I realized that whenever I reach a juncture in my life and the doors all appear to be closed, there is always something or someone for me to turn my dark skies away. This post is dedicated to all those momentous occasions in my life and the people who have made significant impact and contributions to who I am today, for without them, I would certainly not be the strong, capable, mature and happy girl I am today.



To Budddha, for you are the doctor for all illness, your teachings humble me.

To my parents, for better or worse.

To my sister, for teaching me about tough times and spirit, bitterness turned sweet.

To my husband, for opening my eyes to reality, and love.

To my mother-in-law, for blissful ignorance as the saviour of broken hearts,

To my grandparents, departed and living, you are always alive in me,

To my friends, for laughter and youth rekindled in memories,

To Ravi, for that exact moment we call fate,

To the sun, earth, moon, and wind, for the remembrance and inspirations.

This is my life and this is the way I want myself remembered.

xoxo

One Step At A Time

My world is overwheliming me at the moment. But why do I still carry on? How much longer can my heart beat in its impermanent case?

Blast from the past, To go with the flow

As I am sitting here in possibly the happiest corner in the world, far away from my troubles and just indulging in work in a beautifully kept library, with my husband opposite me (Hi sayang!), I can't help remembering what used to be. In fact, I don't think I have ever lived a day without reminescising about the past, on days where I used to haunt library joints by myself, with high school friends, with college mates. It's not so different now, except for the fact that I'm not as innocent as I used to be.

I miss the laughter and I miss the ridiculous math we used to do to 'count' our 'yuan fen' with our latest crush. Oh well nothing's changed. Now my husband and I would pluck hair after hair and perform 'magic' in determining how many kids we are going to have in the future. I love how silly we get and how lightly we both take life, maybe that's why I get drawn to him so much. I love how he teaches me to be happy with circumstances the way they are and to focus on now.

Oh, how blissful it is to live with innocence, but I guess that's part of growing up.

Goodbye spoilt princess!

Where do I go from here?

Sometimes life really is a maze, and it feels never-ending with the threat of the Minotaur lurking right around the corner. Sometimes, when the people you trust the most lets you down, and you feel like giving up, but in a maze, there isn't an exit except the end. In these times, we can always look up, and someone will always shoot red sparks up in the sky and help will come to you in its' mysterious ways.

Life is a journey of ups and downs, until you experience the thrill of the roller coaster ride can you fully grasp the content of this parable.

In my 22 years of riding, I never felt such big a challenge until these recent years. The conflict of relationships and disorders and emotions and finance and responsibility can be your worst enemy. The journey gets more torturous and the highs and lows get more intense. When do you hit the pause button?

Thank goodness I have my inner sanctuary built deep within me, a place I can retreat when life gets hard.

Gwen

Scary Fish

I have a unhealthy obsession with all things creepy. Horror movies, aliens, paranormal activities, strange desolate places, and scary animals! But I never have the guts to do these stuff alone cause I'm too chicken for it, which means my friends/family have to sadly sacrifice their well-being each time my obsession kicks in!

I was browsing through some creepy fish online and look what I found!

Why would that guy even touch it!! It looks human! It even looks like it has 'blinkable' eyes!

And look at this!

The Snaggletooth fish that resides in Australian waters! Gulp.

But what strikes my fancy most is the Blind Cave Fish, which I have seen in a trip to China in the past. This creepy fish is devoid of eyes after centuries of evolution!

Check this story out!

Rediscovered Blind Fish May Be Last of Its Kind

by David DeFranza, Washington, DC on 05.13.10

TRAVEL & NATURE

• 
• 
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The blind Brazilian blind characid is related to tetras and piranha. Image credit: Dr. Cristiano Moreira, Federal University of Sao Paulo

In 1962 a strange blind fish was captured in a communal water well in Minas Gerais, Brazil. Ichthyologists identified it as a new species of Characiformes, an order that includes tetras and piranhas, but outside that one lonely specimen, the fish was never seen again.

Now, a team of researchers from the Federal University of Sao Paulo have rediscovered the fish—though the small population may already be doomed to extinction.

Researchers searched wells deep underground to find the fish. Image credit: Dr. Cristiano Moreira, Federal University of Sao Paulo

The team, led by Dr. Cristiano Moreira, began by interviewing locals living around the area of the first discovery. From these interviews, they collected several reports that the fish had been seen swimming in communal wells.

However, because the region is so dry, people rely on underground wells—and even these often end up being free of standing water. Moreira explained:

This was one of the problems we encountered to find this fish, since most of the open wells we could access to collect or put traps were dry.

Eventually, the team found two pools with enough water that they could place traps and collect fish.

Here fishy fishy fishy...Image credit: Dr. Cristiano Moreira, Federal University of Sao Paulo

And collect they did. The team ended up capturing 34 individuals that proved to be the elusive Stygichthys typhlops.

The rediscovery has allowed researchers to gain a better understanding of the fish, but much remains unknown.

Image credit: Dr. Cristiano Moreira, Federal University of Sao Paulo

Moreira commented that:

Morphologically, Stygichthys is very different from any species in the group, so much so that we are still not able to say to which species it is more related.

One thing is certain: The species is highly threatened.

Moreira explained that it is likely the species is mostly extinct, with only this one group surviving by virtue of it's until-now inaccessible habitat—what conservationists call a "relic species."

This protection, however, is vanishing rapidly. As surface wells become increasingly rare, people are pushed farther underground in search of water—and these deep pools, and the rare fish that call them home, face a dry future because of it.

Moreira explained that "this species seems to be the most threatened underground fish species in Brazil," likely relegated to a habitat only 25 kilometers long. And, he added, the withdrawal of water from this tiny aquifer will mean certain extinction for the species.

I just love amazing stories like this!

xoxo

Gwen