Welcome to what seems like eternity

I'm sitting here in my new house.

It's so perfect, I'm cherishing every moment. THANK YOU, LIFE.

Preparing for PBL tomorrow, and there will be more days like this, learning and cramming, feeling mighty one day and rotten the next, crashing and burning, whoever said Medicine is glamorous?

But I am ready for it :)

We are give one short life. If you imagine yourself as an astronomical creature looking down on earth, and you see buildings and bridges, mountains and men, millions of them, where do you stand?

Would you be so afraid, like me, of how significantly small my presence is?

Would it matter if my nail polish isn't chipped, that my wardrobe is bursting with designer clothes and I have at least 10 pairs of shoes that are brand spanking new, yet to be worn?

I feel so damn guilty sometimes.

But I have Medicine, my purpose, to be able to reach within my very own limitless scope, to help whoever I can, the best I can. I have my family, this precious, wonderful mist of pure love, and within the parameters of bountiless love and purpose, this little bumblebee shall work her wonders.

Watch. This. Space. I will not let anyone down.

Second Holiday with Jon- Bangkok

We were deciding between Bintan in Indonesia or Dreamworld, but I was more keen on a more vibrant destination, plus I dislike water sports so Bangkok it was! I drew inspirations from a few random blogs I read and was instantly attracted to the shopping in Platinum Mall.

Platinum Mall is a mega huge mall with 2000 stalls focusing on wholesale shopping and it blew me away. Although the sizes in Thailand are pretty small, I managed to find a ton of pretty clothes that were decently priced and pretty!! Poor baby had to tag along for 3 days while I shopped like a woman possessed. 10,000 Thai bahts was not enough, so we experienced a mild dilemma and were scavenging for hidden Aussie notes to exchange for more Thai bahts!!

We stayed at Baiyoke Suite hotel which was strategically located in the heart of Pratunam, with the hustle and bustle of Pratunam Market right in front of our doorstep. The density of Pratunam Market felt like 5 people per square metre, in other words it was really, really crowded. But I loved it!!! My five senses were so turned on.

We ate at Platinum's food court a few times, food was pretty decent. My husband came with a mission to eat kilos and kilos of Pad Thai and by the time we went back he was green from it.

JY inside Platinum. He is the sweetest baby in the world and I am not saying it just because he is mine. He really tops the whole universe of guys because when it comes to shopping, he waits patiently for me, offers fashion advice, seeks out pretty clothes for me, carries my heavy bags, and pays for everything. Seriously the best baby in the world!!

And he booked us the best hotel in Thailand for our last night. I was grumbling ( ok, i was fuming) when we had to switch hotels because it was so troublesome and we got ripped off by a bad cabbie but when I stepped foot in Ariyasomvilla, I died and went to villa heaven.

Yep.. That was our two room suite for the night. Best room in the house!! I wished the night would never end but I was so knackered from the shopping that we fell asleep pretty early ( 1 am.)

The living area.

JY loved the sinks- The products smelled so good!! This is me washing my bathing suit with the amazing pandan scented soap.

The Pool. I managed to drag him up at 6.15 am and we took a dip and it was gooooood. He didn't feel too good but who would after a pint of Asoka at 6.15am??

One of the many highlights was the Ladyboy Calypso show at Asia hotel, as recommended by Bangkok.com. Most of the tours and shows were booked through this website and I give a double thumbs up because the tours are cheap and good.

My fav Kahtoey. Seriously fab body and face. SOO pretty.

Our dinner the last night at the Sheraton Grande Sukhumvit.

Love Bangkok!! Will so return!!

Up Up and Away

If I ever did you wrong, I am sorry.

Today I realized that I have everything- I am the luckiest person in the world.

And my fate is in my own hands. Not even his.

:)

xoxo

This Train Don't Stop Here Anymore

Isn't life full of surprises, just when you feel like nothing's ever going to go wrong, something creeps up from around the corner to give you just the right amount of jazz. I was so down for the past week, and through faith in my good will I lived through to see another day, and now, I couldn't be more proud of myself.


It's important to forgive yourself when you make mistakes.


I learnt that no-one can make you feel gulity and no amount of paise or blame should sway you. When you feel less attached to your emotions, you will naturally feel at ease with everything that comes your way, and also more able to live in equilibrium and happiness.




Equilibrium- How essential its role in our soul.


When the world turns a blind eye on you, find your space and stay there until they are ready for you. You are as beautiful and strong as you perceive yourself to be, so have confidence and smile :) I realized that whenever I reach a juncture in my life and the doors all appear to be closed, there is always something or someone for me to turn my dark skies away. This post is dedicated to all those momentous occasions in my life and the people who have made significant impact and contributions to who I am today, for without them, I would certainly not be the strong, capable, mature and happy girl I am today.



To Budddha, for you are the doctor for all illness, your teachings humble me.

To my parents, for better or worse.

To my sister, for teaching me about tough times and spirit, bitterness turned sweet.

To my husband, for opening my eyes to reality, and love.

To my mother-in-law, for blissful ignorance as the saviour of broken hearts,

To my grandparents, departed and living, you are always alive in me,

To my friends, for laughter and youth rekindled in memories,

To Ravi, for that exact moment we call fate,

To the sun, earth, moon, and wind, for the remembrance and inspirations.

This is my life and this is the way I want myself remembered.

xoxo

One Step At A Time

My world is overwheliming me at the moment. But why do I still carry on? How much longer can my heart beat in its impermanent case?

Blast from the past, To go with the flow

As I am sitting here in possibly the happiest corner in the world, far away from my troubles and just indulging in work in a beautifully kept library, with my husband opposite me (Hi sayang!), I can't help remembering what used to be. In fact, I don't think I have ever lived a day without reminescising about the past, on days where I used to haunt library joints by myself, with high school friends, with college mates. It's not so different now, except for the fact that I'm not as innocent as I used to be.

I miss the laughter and I miss the ridiculous math we used to do to 'count' our 'yuan fen' with our latest crush. Oh well nothing's changed. Now my husband and I would pluck hair after hair and perform 'magic' in determining how many kids we are going to have in the future. I love how silly we get and how lightly we both take life, maybe that's why I get drawn to him so much. I love how he teaches me to be happy with circumstances the way they are and to focus on now.

Oh, how blissful it is to live with innocence, but I guess that's part of growing up.

Goodbye spoilt princess!

Where do I go from here?

Sometimes life really is a maze, and it feels never-ending with the threat of the Minotaur lurking right around the corner. Sometimes, when the people you trust the most lets you down, and you feel like giving up, but in a maze, there isn't an exit except the end. In these times, we can always look up, and someone will always shoot red sparks up in the sky and help will come to you in its' mysterious ways.

Life is a journey of ups and downs, until you experience the thrill of the roller coaster ride can you fully grasp the content of this parable.

In my 22 years of riding, I never felt such big a challenge until these recent years. The conflict of relationships and disorders and emotions and finance and responsibility can be your worst enemy. The journey gets more torturous and the highs and lows get more intense. When do you hit the pause button?

Thank goodness I have my inner sanctuary built deep within me, a place I can retreat when life gets hard.

Gwen